Ask A Poly Girl

by Not So Secret

ASK A POLY GIRL

Polysaturated: Too Much Is Too Much I’m in a long term open relationship with two  women. I am engaged to marry one of them, however that relationships has been rocky for a while. However, I met a new woman, with whom I feel very connected and want to have a relationship.

I Don’t Like Make-Up Sex: My partner and I sometimes have long, uncomfortable, late-night talks about whether or not I’m still sexually attracted to her. (I am.) I explain that while I absolutely AM attracted to her, my sex drive isn’t  the same as it was when everything was fresh and new and we were just learning each others’ bodies, etc… and while we BOTH do get to a stable point where everything feels (calmly, lovingly, comfortably) resolved, there is one short-term problem. She usually wants to have sex directly afterward as a form of physical catharsis.

I Love My Boyfriend, And This Other Guy Too: Here’s my problem. I have been in a relationship with a really nice guy for 4 years now. We are good friends, we have lots in common and get along really well. He is super sweet, the ice to my fire. He’s just fine, nothing at all wrong with him.

ASK US ANYTHING! (really, send us an email to ask @ notsosecret . com )

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Anonymous July 30, 2011 at 9:52 am

I was just curious about coming out as poly. I’ve been a practicing poly person for a few years now and with my past partners and every time I have the conversation it seems to degrade into my partners not feeling appreciated, or that I’m insatiable. I make it a rule to talk about being poly with my partners before we fool around, but perhaps I should be doing this on the first date instead? It seems really soon in a relationship to put that on the line. Another issue I’m having is that I’m getting to that age (26) where I can no longer just keep not explaining the ‘friends’ that my parents keep meeting. So my big question is this; What’s the easiest way of coming out of the poly closet?

Wanting to be on honest person with all my loved ones,
A Closeted Practicing Poly Person

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