Ask a Guy

ASK US ANYTHING! (really, send us an email to ask @ notsosecret . com )

Faking it, Honestly? I have been dating a guy for a while, and we have great sex. Thing is, when I started dating him, I didn’t think it was going to go anywhere, just be casual sex. However, things are great, like really great, and we’ve been together for 7 months now. Great, right? No. The problem is that I have a very hard time having an orgasm, like I pretty much don’t. So when we started dating, I used to fake it for him. But now that we’re more serious, I don’t want to lie to him, but I don’t know how to back my way out of it. Thing is, we have REALLY great sex, but it seems like guys are all just programmed to go for the orgasm, and don’t feel good unless we cum. Should I just keep faking it for him, or should I talk to him and explain that it really doesn’t matter? Because it doesn’t!

Can A Poly Guy Be Mono? I just started dating a guy who I might actually like. But we come from very different worlds. While I am totally sexually open and adventurous, he has been poly for years, and most of his friends are poly too. I’m not poly, and I know it. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I’m just not. At what point do we need to talk about it (I’m happy with casual for a while, but if there’s no point, then why even bother?) Is it even vaguely reasonable for me to think he could be un-poly?

In Love With A Pussy? I met a guy recently, and fell totally in love. We are both in our 40′s raising kids, heads typically grounded, but we found ourselves laying in bed saying things like “I guess I’ve never been in love before.” It was that amazing. We made future plans (some concrete like vacations, some just imaginary,) our kids loved each other, I moved stuff into his house, met the families, the works. It was a long-distance thing, but even that was great, because it kept things in perspective. Or so I thought. Then, after my kid and I spent 2 weeks there, he stopped speaking to me altogether. Literally. I actually heard through friends that it was over. We still haven’t really talked about it, except his insistence that “it won’t work” without even explaining why. WTF? I need a guy’s take, because all my girlfriend’s are coming up with is, “he’s too scared and weak.” I am confused as hell, and can’t imagine why I have been discarded like a piece of garbage.

ASK US ANYTHING! (really, send us an email to ask @ notsosecret . com )