Advice

ASK US ANYTHING! (really, send us an email to ask @ notsosecret . com )

ASK A POLY GIRL: I’m in a long term open relationship with two  women. I am engaged to marry one of them, however that relationships has been rocky for a while. However, I met a new woman, with whom I feel very connected and want to have a relationship.

ASK A MOTHER: My boyfriend says there is something wrong with his tongue and he simply isn’t able to go down on me. Is that even possible? (No, that’s ridiculous.)

ASK A DOCTOR: I am a bi-sexual female, and was diagnosed with Herpes B a couple years ago. Since then, I just don’t feel comfortable having sex with people, and I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to pass it on, but I don’t want to give up sex. Some of my friends talk about Herpes as if it were the plague, others seem to think it’s not that different than the flu or a skin infection, what is it, really? And will I ever have a decent sex life again?   (This is another one where I want people to chill out. I just had a friend cry on my shoulders about having herpes – she’s a lesbian – and I was trying to calm her down…..)

ASK A GUY: I met a guy recently, and fell totally in love. We are both in our 40′s raising kids, heads typically grounded, but we found ourselves laying in bed saying things like “I guess I’ve never been in love before.” It was that amazing. We made future plans (some concrete like vacations, some just imaginary,) our kids loved each other, I moved stuff into his house, met the families, the works. Then, after my kid and I spent 2 weeks there, he stopped speaking to me altogether. Literally. I actually heard through friends that it was over. We still haven’t really talked about it, except his insistence that “it won’t work” without even explaining why. WTF? I need a guy’s take, because all my girlfriend’s are coming up with is, “he’s too scared and weak.” I am confused as hell, and can’t imagine why I have been discarded like a piece of garbage.

ASK A POLY GIRL: I have been in a relationship with a really nice guy for 4 years now. We are good friends, we have lots in common and get along really well. He is super sweet, the ice to my fire. He’s just fine, nothing at all wrong with him. But I’ve recently reconnected with someone who I’ve had a thing for for most of my life….

ASK A MISTRESS: I have been close friends with a guy for a while now. For most of our friendship, he’s been unhappy with his marriage, and I’ve been supporting him through it, helping him realize that his marriage is not ever going to make him happy. They are good friends, but not sexually compatible at all. He and I, on the other hand, have an intense sexual chemistry. We’ve admitted that we want to pursue it, but I’m telling him that we have to wait until he moves out, gets separated and is free. But it’s taking him forever to do that. If he knows it’s over, and we know we want to be together, what difference does it make?