Photo by Flickr user "Oddsock"
Many people are coming to realize the great pleasures of anal sex. At least more people are starting to talk about it, which means we want to be sure that you’re getting good information! (As always, your friends, porn, and random web searches are not always the best sources of good information.) Without a little instruction, your first anal sexcapade could turn out to be a not-so-enjoyable one. Here at NotSoSecret.com, we like to make sure all of your sexual experiences are as safe and fun as they can be, so we’ve made you your very own guide to anal sex! Enjoy!
First and foremost, it is important to understand that anal sex can be enjoyable for anyone whether you identify as a straight male or woman or a gay male or woman. There are many ways in which anal sex can be enacted and all of them are totally OK. That said, these tips are just to keep it simple for your first time and you can make these things vary based on your own preferences and boundaries when you are ready.
Trust Your Partner
- Before you participate, whether giving or receiving, make sure you are doing it with someone you trust and who will stay within your personal boundaries. This should be true with all sexual experiences. TRUST & RESPECT come frist!
Wear a Condom
- Please! I can’t stress this enough. We often say that not using a condom is only OK if you are in a bonded, long-term, monogamous relationship, but with anal sex, it is different. The bacteria in the rectum can give you UTI’s and sexually transmitted diseases, which are not fun and can be expensive to deal with. Make sure if you want to switch to vaginal or oral penetration that you remove the condom and rinse off. And if it’s a toy you are using, same thing!
Use LOTS of Lubrication
- Wearing a lubricated condom helps, but using more lube on top of that is very helpful and makes the experience more enjoyable for the receiver. Plentiful lubrication can actually help deter infection also, as you won’t be chafing your partner and letting bacteria in. I recommend a silicone-based lubricant (that’s what I like to use) but water-based is said to be safer and can also be really nice. You can pick those up at any drug store or go to your local sex shop in town for a more sophisticated selection.
Experiment With Positions
- Try a few positions and determine which one feels most comfortable to you as the receiver. I recommend lying on your side in the spooning position. You can also try the infamous “doggy style” or a nice missionary position with you on the bottom and the giver on the top. Everyone is different so experiment with these and maybe try some others.
RELAX!
- Try using fingers first, to get you used to the feeling of being penetrated. Sometimes you may feel as though you’re going to poop (for lack of a better term) and it is really up to you whether or not you feel like you want to continue on. Usually that feeling subsides as you become more relaxed, but sometimes it can be too uncomfortable and you may feel you have to stop. That is ok! Remember, your boundaries are important and it is essential that you communicate them. Once you feel like you are warmed up and ready to go, have your partner try to enter you.
Go Slowly
- This, I think, is one of the most important tips on this list. Especially if this is your first time, your anus is used to being a one-way kind of deal and going too fast for your comfort can be…well…uncomfortable and sometimes even painful. This is where communication is the most important. Once you have let your partner slowly make his (or her if you’re using a strap-on or other toy) way all the way in, it should be a piece of cake after that and you’re ready for some really good anal sex!
Clean Up
- When you are finished, the clean-up is very important to avoid infection. Make sure you rinse off thoroughly with soap and water in the appropriate places and you are all ready to take on the world again!
