I’m very out about being a transsexual female, however if someone doesn’t know, and they don’t ask me, I don’t say anything, unless:
A) I’m going to pose nude for them as a model.
B) I’m interested in having sex with them possibly in the near future, and want them to know beforehand.
I generally don’t tell anyone I’ve just met, unless the conversation goes that way. Most people I meet, don’t know I am a female with a history.
Some of the reasons why in public I wouldn’t want to reveal that I am a female who is also Transsexual mostly revolves around my own personal safety.
I’m a very public person. My own facebook has well over 1000 friends on it and when I’m out and about in Seattle, I often run into people I know.
I do attract attention when I’m out in public being a reasonably attractive girl and standing 5’10″ without heels. Often these strangers will not know I have a history. It’s a very personal side of me, it doesn’t define me however. If someone were attracted to me, and had deep-seated emotional conflicts with being attracted to a girl who is also transsexual, I could possibly be in danger, so I don’t reveal that initially. Violence against transsexuals & the LGBT population is quite high. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_LGBT_people
It’s mostly a safety issue, but it’s also a perception issue for me. I’ve gone my whole life trying to be happy in my own skin and I finally am. I have the right balance of hormones in me now, and I finally feel normal. After some initial transition, my own family and friends are now seeing me for me, a female transsexual, and not the gender society and nature forced me to be for so long because of a hormonal imbalance when I was younger.
Sometimes when you reveal that you are a female but also transsexual, a person will immediately see you as your former unbalanced self, not the person you are today. They will switch pronouns, and their perception of you will be based on societal and gender stereotypes, not the person sitting in front of them.. it’s almost like they are looking at you initially, but then they are seeing the ugliest photo of you ever taken and that is their new perception of you. I am not being deceptive by not revealing that I have different genitals under my clothes or a medial & hormonal history. If we are not going to be having sex, or taking nude photos, then it’s really a non-issue..isn’t it? I choose to reveal this to someone when I feel comfortable with them. It’s just another part of me, a history. I hope that it adds depth and richness to their experience with me as a friend, lover or acquaintance.
I find that on dating sites it’s much easier to weed people out, if I disclose that I am a female transsexual up front. The unfortunate side effect of doing that, is that I get people who are interested in me because I am a female transsexual and “they’ve never done it with one”. They aren’t interested in me because I’m Andi, a female, who happens to be a transsexual… I would rather they be interested in me, for who I am, not just the small part of my anatomy that is different.