Of course, it’s not actually that simple. Somewhere in the tempest that transpires when you mix hormones, creativity, desire, and all kinds of emotional pressure, we sometimes find ourselves in situations that don’t feel right. Because we’re always looking for ways to help women make empowered decisions for a fulfilling sex life, we were trying to think of a simple way to help you evaluate whether or not the sex you are contemplating is likely to be a positive thing for you.
But how do you do that in a way that is inclusive? In a way that doesn’t imply that they way YOU do it is bad, or weird. I mean, we can’t talk about “pain” as if it’s a thing to be avoided, because many people like pain. Or suggest that you must find “that one true love,” because many people don’t believe in that. We needed to find a simple way to help you assess whether the sex you’re contemplating is right for you, as an individual. And then we heard it, clear as the mating call of a feral beast in the moonlight. “SLUT!”
You need to make sure that your sex is perfect SLUT sex.
Why do sluts like Sandra Fluke have that power in their voice? That swagger in their step? The audacious balls to stand up and speak their truth? Because they have SLUT sex, and know they what it can do for you. It can give you the power, the swagger and the audacious balls. You just have to know how to identify it. And a little SLUT makes it easy.
S – Safety With sex, safety comes first. (Even before you do!) When we think about safe sex, we think about both physical safety and emotional safety. Safe sex includes things like:
- Birth control and disease prevention. Condoms are the best way to lessen your chances of contracting a disease and reduce the risk of getting pregnant. Condoms need to be used for disease prevention, regardless of whether or not you are using other pregnancy prevention methods.
- Discussing disease status and other partners.
- Make sure that you do not feel coerced or manipulated in any way.
L – Love When we think about loving sex, we don’t mean the romantic state of “being in love,” but rather a situation that fills you with love. A situation in which you feel engaged, present, valued, that is filled with genuine desire and appreciation for what is happening. Do you love the moment, the act, the feeling that you have? Do you feel that this is an act of loving you for who you are and how feel the most alive? Are you engaging in an activity that you love, because it fulfills you?
U – Understanding Does everyone involved have a clear and common understanding of the situation? Sex can become emotionally painful if all parties don’t agree on the perimeters of the encounter. Is this part of a larger relationship or just an isolated incident? Do either of you have any other partners? Are either one of you in a state of emotional fragility? Do you all know what you want out of this encounter?
T – Trust Do you trust the person that you are considering having sex with? Do you know that they know your boundaries? Will they respect your physical and emotional health? Remember that when you have sex with someone you are making yourself as vulnerable as you can be, do you believe that this person can be trusted?
We are far from prude, but feel the need to fight for the reinstatement of good old-fashioned slut values. After all, your sex life is about you. You need to be safe and happy and fulfilled. The best way to be safe, happy and fulfilled is to live proud, like the slut that you are.