I met a guy recently, and fell totally in love. We are both in our 40′s raising kids, heads typically grounded, but we found ourselves laying in bed saying things like “I guess I’ve never been in love before.” It was that amazing. We made future plans (some concrete like vacations, some just imaginary,) our kids loved each other, I moved stuff into his house, met the families, the works. It was a long-distance thing, but even that was great, because it kept things in perspective. Or so I thought. Then, after my kid and I spent 2 weeks there, he stopped speaking to me altogether. Literally. I actually heard through friends that it was over. We still haven’t really talked about it, except his insistence that “it won’t work” without even explaining why. WTF? I need a guy’s take, because all my girlfriend’s are coming up with is, “he’s too scared and weak.” I am confused as hell, and can’t imagine why I have been discarded like a piece of garbage.
No, “he’s too scared and weak” is not the right label for his behavior. That really is a female perspective. From the limited details you gave me of what is likely a very convoluted situation, the only summary I can come up with for his behavior is that he is being a total pussy!
Now we are going to put aside any lingering misogynous overtones of the word ‘pussy’ and just take the word at face value. There are some wonderful male idioms like: ‘sac-up’, ‘be a man’, and ‘stop being a pussy’ that get to the point of what this particular man needs to hear from one of his male friends. Something along these lines; “Hay Joe, I know she has been in your house for TWO WEEKS and you are starting to freak out. But not talking to her is a totally pussy move. You need to sac-up and tell her what you are feeling ‘cause she can’t read your mind. By not talking, you are being a child, you need to be a man and tell her the truth!”
The problem for you is that if hairless-Joe ever had the balls to tell you the truth, you might not want to hear what it is. The whole thing may have moved too fast, you may have come on too strong, the long-distance thing wasn’t as great as you thought. Even if he did talk you would have ended up in the same place.
The most important thing is that you don’t want that pussy in your life anyway especially if there are kids involved. He may have been filling some of your needs, but do you want your daughter to grow up thinking that this is what men of made of, or your son to think that this is how you treat a woman?
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